So we met in a bar. He was nice…we were dancing…and then the lights came on and it was time to go home. He said he wasn’t going to let me leave him that easily and asked if I would like to drive him home. (PS: Don’t tell my parents I give rides to strangers.) He directed me through the streets across town. We arrived in front of his house and I must say that I was very impressed. He had told me he was a teacher. He was young, so I wasn’t expecting anything fancy. To the contrary, his sizable home was in a very nice part of town and had great curb appeal. We walked inside and I exclaimed, “Wow…this is beautiful!!” To which my date responded, “Shhhh!!!! You’re going to wake them up!” Ah yes. The parents.
Now, I realize a normal girl may have turned on hear heels and walked out, but I decided that there was no harm in staying for just a little bit. His room was downstairs, so there seemed to be no danger of running into said parents mid-hallway for a late night bathroom trip. We were in his bedroom when suddenly his dog began humping my leg. Now, let me tell you that I do like dogs. In fact, I love them. However, I don’t love them humping my leg while I am already in a bit of an awkward situation.
“Um….your dog is on my leg…”
“What? Oh. Yeah, Charlie does that.”
“So…can you make him stop?” (As I’m trying to non-violently kick him off my calf.)
“C’mon baby, just go with it. Just goooooo with it….”
I still laugh out loud at this sometimes. Unfortunately for my new friend, I couldn’t bring myself to just ‘go with it’ so I was soon making my way towards the door. He actually pleaded for me to stay the night. His offer was pretty hard to refuse: he would put Charlie in the other room and maybe his mom would make me some of her famous blueberry pancakes in the morning. He assured me they were delicious. As I excused myself, he followed behind me whispering, “Really!? Please!? Pancakes!?”