Monthly Archives: May 2012

Chapter 16: Mr. Look-at-How-Hot-my-Body-is

Standard

Over the past year or so of dating, I have encountered several would-be-suitors who have, interestingly enough, had the exact same tactic. It is a tactic:

1. that I do not understand

2. to which I do not know the appropriate response

3. that simply cannot be a very effective way to start a relationship

What is it, you may ask? Well, let me give you a textbook scenario to illustrate my point. Truly…this is TEXTBOOK from my experience so far.

I meet a guy on match.com. We send a few emails back and forth through the site, then exchange phone numbers and start texting a bit. Now, if this potential date is over the age of 30, we eventually agree to talk on the phone and/or meet in person. If this potential date is under the age of 30…it has been WITHOUT FAIL that the following happens. We are texting back and forth…things seem to be going well, and then I get a text completely out of the blue that looks like this:

Ah. The faceless shirtless bathroom mirror cell phone shot. Worthy almost of a Time Magazine article entitled something like, “The 20-something athletic guy: An unprecedented phenomenon of cell phone bathroom photos.” Really!? At first I thought it was a bit funny, but soon came to realize it is more common than not to send one of these to someone you have never even spoken to in person or even over the phone.

So…my initial questions stand. What is the expected response to this cavalier move? To say, “Wow…you’re hot,” or perhaps, “I’m so turned on right now!”? I have no idea. I have tried several different sentences, most all of which seem quite silly considering the subject is standing in the bathroom mirror and usually there is a toilet in the background. One guy kept sending me the same photo over and over. It was him in a steamy bathroom mirror fresh from the shower with a dangerously low towel around his sculpted waist. Each time I would respond with a different ‘you’re so hot’ compliment…which was true…but I don’t enjoy feeling like I’m being forced to tell someone! Eventually, he gave up on me, apparently not getting the answer for which he was searching.

Or maybe, it isn’t really a sentence they are looking for at all. Perhaps they are doing wordless request for a scandalous photo of me? What would that look like? A bikini shot? A bra? No shirt at all? Hmmm. As long as it was faceless and in the bathroom, maybe they body part doesn’t matter. Who knows. These 20-something boys are quite curious to me. How did this random practice get started in the first place? Is it commonplace for 20-someting females to have multiple shirtless photos in their SMS inbox at any given time? Have the 20-something ladies mastered the correct response to this odd practice?  Please, if you do know….enlighten this obviously older (and more conservative) female.

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