Chapter 4: Insect Love-ah


I was hoping to do these chronologically but… I just can’t get this guy out of my head lately. I think it’s because I was recently sweeping a huge anthill off of my front porch. For a split second I wondered if I should just leave them there, happy in their own little ant-world.

Enter Mr. Insect Love-ah. Now, I have absolutely no recollection of how this strapping young fellow and I met during my college years. I’m sure he was attracted to my long skirts and barefoot-ed-ness at a typically prepster university. Admittedly, I was attracted to ‘alternative’ males, but this fella went just a bit too far…

Tall, gangly, wild wind-blown hair and those thick glasses that were never without a haze of smudges.  He invited me on a date. Naturally, I accepted. =-)  (You will see, if you haven’t already, that this is an ever-repeating trend in my life.)

Mr. Bug Club met me at my dorm and we planned to walk across campus to the student center to get some dinner. As a short cut I began walking off of the sidewalk through the grass. I had taken about 2 steps onto the well-groomed green carpet when I was almost violently grabbed from the side. My dinner date looked at me in horror and asked, “Where are you GOING? There are sidewalks here for a reason!!”

I’m sure that my mouth fell open…my first thought was that usually a nature-loving guy like himself would revel in walking in the grass rather than on a concrete-lined maze constructed by the horrible people that build things on top of nature and choke out all signs of our world’s natural habitat. I was wrong.

The next sentence I heard was, “Do you know that within the average size of a person’s foot there exists approximately 547 species of insects and other living things? So with each step there is a very high probability that you could indeed be KILLING (emphasis not added by me) hundreds of innocent creatures? (long silent pause) Have you not ever thought of that before?”  (another long pause) ” Well anyway, that’s why I walk on the sidewalks at all times. They were put here for a reason.”  End of discussion. Mr. Insect Love-ah nodded his head in decisiveness and turned to walk away down the stretch of pavement. Saving lives with each step….


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